How to
by Cards
Summary: When you don't know your future and one fact could change everything, how do you tell the truth. What do you tell. Do you even tell? (SpotOC (Blackjack))


"You haven't told him yet?" Guard asked hands shoved deep into her pockets, shoulders hunched up to protect her uncovered ears.

"No" Blackjack sighed, her posture was straighter then Guards, her coat of better quality, and her hat warmer. "I mean how do you say it?"

"You say it, and lock him into Marriage" Blackjack's cousin, Anna, pointed out rationally. "Audrey, you've been wanting him to make the commitment for a while. And if that's how you keep your man, then that's how you keep him" She said pushing her own child along in a pram.

"I don't want to trap him into marriage though" Blackjack said "I don't want him to think I did this on purpose." she looked at the baby her cousin pushed, the whole family knew the baby was born a mere four months after her wedding, normal sized and healthy.

"There's no shame in it" Anna repeats. "None at all."

"Never said there was" Blackjack whispered, her hand lightly on her stomach, trying to see if she could feel the child in her.

Anna nodded as she stopped at the stoop of her apartment, shared with a husband who was never home. Blackjack sighed. "Well, make the right choice Audrey" Anna said curtly. "I know you will." She walked in to the apartment building.

"What would you do?" Blackjack asked turning to Guard.

"What?" The boxer looked as though she had been hit upside the face with a two by four.

"If you got pregnant, would you tell Skittery?"

"Isaac?" She asked "Well…" Her long braid fell over her shoulder as she pondered. "I'd probably have it taken care of.."

"What?" Blackjack asked, her upper middleclass innocence creeping into her voice.

"They have this procedure, where they can take the baby out" Guard said off handly. "I mean, I'm still a fighter, I couldn't afford to take nine months off."

"They take the baby out!" Blackjack gasped, her other hand flew to her stomach, trying to imagine the life within her not being there. "Why?"

Guard smiled "for a lot of reasons, whores do it so they can keep in business, I'd do it so I could keep making money, women do it because they can't afford another child" Her face was comforting as she could be. "I don't think I'd tell Isaac though"

"Why not?" Blackjack asked, the two were living together, had been for a year. Skittery was now working at a factory, making more money. Guard brought in a fairly sizable income from fights. "Would he leave you?"

"No he'd insist upon marrying me" Guard said, turning her face, a few scars shone as the light hit them. "And I wouldn't want him to feel he had too. Anyway. We may not be able to work out after all." She said the last part dismiss fully.

"Why not?" Blackjack asked, eager to get the subject off herself.

"He wants me to stop fighting. Thinks its getting dangerous." Guard held herself up higher. Blackjack decides not to mention, that while Guard had yet to loose a ring fight, she had been injured more and more severely, having just recovered from a broken arm she was banned from fighting and had been miserable.

"Well, you can work through that problem" Blackjack said reassuringly. "I mean, He worked through the whole not touching thing" at this she playfully poked Guard's shoulder. And when once this would have meant an immediate fist to some part of her body it now meant that Guard just jumped, startled. "The fighting thing is minor compared to that." Blackjack smiled, trying to reassure her friend.

Skittery sat anxiously in the apartment he shared with her. His whole body was a jungle of nerves, monkeys like the ones he had once heard about swinging about from one thought to the next he was unsure how do what he was about to do.

As Blackjack and Guard walked up the stairs laughing Skittery stood up, nervously he paced across the room and back. As Guard opened the door she raised an eyebrow at him. "Isaac?" She asked.

While they still used their nicknames with friends, around their families or when dealing with heavy stuff, Guard and Skittery used their birth names. Shannon and Isaac.

"Shannon!" He smiled walking over, having missed her entrance he was so busy anticipating it. "Oh hey Blackie" He said, smiling still at Guard though talking to Blackjack.

"What would you do if Guard said she was expecting? Blackjack blurted out.

"Shannon?" Skittery asked, large brown eyes looking at her ecstatically. "You are?"

"No!" She said quickly "Blackie is and wants to know how to tell Spot, or if to tell him."

Skittery's smile faded a litte. "Oh, I mean, I'd be ecstatic. But Spot's not really the type for kids."

Guard bit her lip seeing his reaction. He wanted kids so badly, she looped an arm around his waist and leaned her head on his shoulder.

"Should I tell him?" Blackjack asked quietly, "or…"

"Tell him" Skittery affirmed "He'd hate not to have the chance at least. And he really likes you."

Blackjack smiled at the affectionate picture before her. Spot could be affectionate, but not publicly. He wasn't cold to her, but he didn't touch her normally he didn't have the warmth that Skittery did for Guard. Skittery looked as though Guard was a piece of family gold, precious not only for its worth, but for the value it had personally. Spot looked at her like that, when they were alone. He looked at her as if she was part of his life. Not a floozie.

"I had something to ask you" Skittery told Guard, leaning in kissing her ear.

Guard smiled as he hugged her from behind, kissing her cheek again, a dark curl dropping into his face, Guards face turned into a wide smile, she turned to look at him. "Yeah?"

"I should go" Blackjack said quietly, heading out the door. The Manhattan skyline behind her she gulped, She knew she had to tell Spot, she owed it to him. And even if he did turn her away, she would keep the baby. She closed her eyes as she found herself in front of the brownstone where Spot rented an attic apartment.

Spot must have seen her walking up because as she stood deliberating he opened the door, slightly winded from running down the stairs. "Hey" He smiled kissing her forehead lightly. Blackjack gulped, it was hard to tell him when he was so sweet. If he had been dismissive, harsh, made her wait in the snow, she would have been able to tell him exactly what she should. But no, he was sweet.

"Gabe" She whispered as he walked her up the three flights of stairs. "Gabriel."

"Yeah?" He turned around, eyes suddenly full of worry. He'd never told her, but Spot always worried she would leave him. She didn't need him, didn't need anything about him. He needed her so much. More then he could tell her. He worried that one day she would see how weak he was, what a sham his attitude was. How afraid he was to need her this much.

Spot let her into the apartment, watching her walk in elegantly, head held back. He gulped sitting down on an old chair he had rescued from the trash and fixed-up. Blackjack sat on the old bed, they watched each other, unaware of the worries in their partner's head.

"Gabriel, I'm just telling you this, I'm not trying to get you into anything" She said looking down suddenly, at her hands placed in her lap.

"What?" Spot asked moving next to her, chapped lips kissing her cheek, desperate for contact.

"I'm pregnant" Blackjack whispered. "Three months" She said.

"Really?" Spot blinked. The image of a child with his eyes, her skin, her hair appeared in his mind. "Really?" He asked sounding more excited. The idea that he could change what his parents had done to him. He wouldn't beat his child, wouldn't leave it. He gulped. This was a fresh start.

He kissed her, hopefully.

Disclaimer: I own anyone you don't know

Author's notes: I hope you all like it. I was trying to just do something. Had a bad weekend. Needed to detox or something.


End file.
